SAFETY

My friend was looking to buy a swing set for the back yard one day and the salesman asked if she had a fenced in yard or not. He explained that if you did not have a fenced in yard, then you should put the set up close to the back of the house near the door or the children wouldn’t play with it. If you do have a fenced in yard, it didn’t matter where you put it.

Since he said this I have noticed many swing sets in back yards that are not fenced, and the swings have been set up far from the house. But these swings are seldom played with.

We ALL need boundaries in our lives. Everyone has boundaries, even if we have come to accept them so much as everyday life, that we do not consider them boundaries. Our society doesn’t condone stealing, murder, lying, etc. Our laws are a set of boundaries.

Children need to have boundaries in their life, and they need to have them clearly defined. An infant, when first born gets great comfort from being wrapped snuggly in their blankets. They feel safe and protected. A young child does not feel safe to play way away from the house if there is no fence. When a fence is present, they know their boundaries, and that they are safe within them.

Set boundaries and keep them basic and easy to understand.

Our children are not allowed to run in the grocery aisles, the doctor’s office or to run in church either. Other people have come to these public places. We need to respect them by assuring that our children behave properly. If my children were too young to constrain themselves NOT to misbehave in public, then they would stay directly by my side until they were old enough to be trusted to behave on their own.

This may seem like a lot of work and upkeep. But no one ever told you that parenting was a cake-walk. But the freedom and joy that you will gain for your time of vigilance now will definitely be worth it.

"Daddy wants to RASSEL!"

Back in the day… when technology hadn’t completely taken over our lives, there were no cordless phones, cell phones, video recorders, digital cameras, or microwave ovens. We listened to our music on large black CD like discs that were about 9 inches across, we called them records or LPs.

Many fathers had already invented their own version of the remote control. The need to flip channels is somehow bred into a man! My dad had just such an invention. He would sit in his chair and say, “Kathy, get up and turn to channel 16. Can you turn it up too?” Instant remote control!

We had a large console television – it sat in a large wooden cabinet low to the ground with speakers on each side built in. It was quite a formidable piece of furniture. Sometimes, for whatever reason, my dad would want to switch channels himself. Perhaps he was looking for a specific show, or wanted to listen to more than one news report, and wanted to be able to switch back and forth quickly. Anyway, he would lie on the floor directly in front of the TV, close enough that he could reach the dial and turn the channel.

When we would see him in this prone position I remember getting goose bumps of anticipation!

If I happened to be lucky enough to be the first to witness the opportunity, I would come behind him and he would put his one arm up for me to duck under. We would cuddle for a moment. Then I would whisper, “Daddy, you want to wrestle?” …hoping.

Then with his free arm he would pull me up over the top of him, and we would tickle and wrestle… The whole time, I would be yelling, “Daddy wants to RASSEL! Daddy wants to RASSEL!” calling the rest of the kids to come and join the fun! Whoever wasn’t already in the mêlée would come running and jump on top of dad.

My child’s mind had no idea of time, but it seemed like this would go on for hours, until we were all out of breath and sweaty. My hair would be sticking to my face and neck as I would back up from the scene looking for a space for me to jump back into the fracas!

What wonderful memories! I always knew that my dad liked having kids. I always knew that he loved being with us! What a wonderful home we had, where we expressed our love for one another, and played with all our might!

Determine to let your children know that you enjoy them! Play with them! I would never trade you the memories of breathlessly laughing while my sides ached, and the joy of knowing my daddy’s love!

I Always Wished I Was Popular!

Well, that about sums it up. I never was popular! I had my friends, but they weren’t the “in” crowd. I was good at things, but they were never the cool things!

I was annoyed the other day because my two youngest girls were fighting. I truly detest the sound of discord. Why can they not concede to the other, each give a little and just get along? And then I realized the reason for the debate.

They were fighting over who was going to sit by me on the sofa! Oh, Delight, Joy and Rapture!! I AM POPULAR! We were going to watch a movie as a family, and everyone was getting situated, making sure that they had soda and chips, etc.

Our sofa has a recliner on each end, and although it’s starting to get a little saggy, I still like to sit on one of the reclining ends.  So the discussion ensued. Who normally sat there, who sat by mom last, or at dinner. I allowed the chatter to go on a little longer than usual (I was enjoying it just a tad!). And then I stepped in like any mother would.

We enjoyed the movie, everyone laughed at the funny parts, and teared up at the moving parts. But I don’t’ think anyone enjoyed it as much as I did from my seat in the middle of the sofa – with a daughter on each side!

May I Introduce you to my Friend?

Like a good friend or a trusted confidante, I have learned to love and appreciate the value of a good book. When I’m reading I share the feelings and emotions of the author. I sense their peril or excitement. I feel their sorrow or delight.

Through the gift of reading, I can educate myself about things that I would not naturally know. When I am reading a book I am, in my mind, transported to that time and place. What an amazing experience to go back into medieval times, or to travel through time and space to experience some forgotten civilization, or to work with a great scientist.

I have always enjoyed reading – or at least as long as I can remember.

Now, I was too young to remember the beginning of my love for reading, but I know that my mother sat and read with me. She had to! She loved to read; my dad loved to read. There were always books in the house, and we were allowed to read them.

When I was too young to read them, I was taught how to respect something that wasn’t mine.  I could look at the pictures, as long as I was careful. I wasn’t allowed to eat and look at a book. I wasn’t allowed to color in them, or to tear pages. (I wasn’t even allowed to tear pages out of the color books – they didn’t want us to learn to ever tear out of a book.)

This article was prompted by an advertisement that I saw recently. Probably one of the many that we see so much of this time of year, that provide great gift giving potential. But the item was a book (great so far) that the parent or grandparent could record their voice into, so that the child could hear their parent’s voice reading to them.

Now, truly, I can think of some great applications for something like this. It would be great if Dad was in the service overseas, or to record a loved one’s voice so that when they were ‘gone’ you could enjoy hearing them again.

But, really, does our society need another piece of technology to replace the contact of a parent? Already our children spend way too much time in front of a TV, or playing a video game, on the phone, or texting.

Let’s remind ourselves of what we loved so much about being a child, and share the same pleasures with our kids! Turn off the TV and computer. Silence the phone if you can. Light a fire in the fireplace, and curl up together with a book and your little one this winter! It will open a world of delight – for both of you!

Liar, Liar!

We have a steadfast rule in our house. No lying! Ever. Lying teaches distrust. Lying encourages deception. Lying shows that we have no respect for the person that we are speaking to.

Studies have even been done about this disturbing trend in our society. And we are teaching our children how to lie.

How many of us lie? Not children… parents! We may not lie at our work. We may not lie to the police officer when he pulls us over. We may not lie to the cashier when she gives us the wrong change. But still we lie.

Many times have I heard a mother say, “I’m not going to tell you one more time to clean your room.” - - Really? Even if they don’t  clean their room, you’re never going to say that again? Of course not!

“If you throw that toy one more time, I’m going to throw it away!” really, you mean the one that cost almost $100 last Christmas? You’re going to throw it away? No.

These statements are said out of frustration and even desperation sometimes. But the underlying concept is one of untruth.

You know that you will mention cleaning the room again. You probably will not throw that expensive toy away. But still we allow ourselves this habit of lying.

Some people call these “idle threats”. We want to show our child a consequence for their disobedience, and honestly, they need to learn that there are consequences when they disobey. But if you are truly not going to do what you say. They are not learning about consequences. They are learning that Mommy or Daddy don’t mean what they say. And if there is not an honest defined result to their disobedience, there most likely will not be any consequence at all.

Wouldn’t it be better to define a true conceivable response, one that the child would actually understand.

“If you don’t’ have your room clean by 7:00, you won’t be going to the park with your friends.”

“If you throw that toy one more time, you won’t be able to play with it for the rest of this week.”

And then follow through with what you say. Teach your child that you do not lie. That what you say, you will do.

Discipline will become much less frustrating. They will comply, because they do want to go to the park, or they do like to play with that toy. And they know that if they don’t obey you will follow through with the consequence.

Say what you mean; mean what you say!